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so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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