I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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