The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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