What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
