So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
