Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
