i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
