They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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