Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
