just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
