just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
3pm strippers are depressing
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
