I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
