Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
