If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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