OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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