I wish I could teleport
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
