just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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