new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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