listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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