he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize