I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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