Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
