that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
