to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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