Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize