I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
