I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
