She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
