Yo dont text me then not text me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
