Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
