His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize