Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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