i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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