it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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