Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize