Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
