i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
