the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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