I feel like I'm in dance class right now
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
