Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm jealous of your bromance
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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