they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize