You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
