Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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