White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize