u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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