Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
