i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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