Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
