so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
