im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Come see our sink grown plant.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
