eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
sarcasm needs its own font
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
