Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
