i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
