Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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