I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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