i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
