The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
