he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
