i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
