i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
