When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Still dying that you shit outside
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
