does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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