first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Randomize
