no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So here I am, sexting at work.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
