I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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