I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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