If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
