perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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