go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
