wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
