Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
