so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
