You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize